By Peter Amsterdam
November 26, 2024
Self-control (or self-discipline, depending on the Bible translation) is the last virtue in our list. We find several references to self-control throughout the New Testament.
In 1 Corinthians, Paul gives a descriptive picture of self-control when talking about the race we run: “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”1
When speaking of the last days, Paul tells the believers, “But understand this, that in the last days … people will be lovers of self, lovers of money,” “without self-control,” and “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”2 Elsewhere he says, “So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.”3 In his first epistle, Peter likewise warns that “the end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.”4
Self-control, as described in Scripture, can be understood as having the inner strength of character which empowers us to control our passions and desires, as well as to be able to exercise sound judgment when it comes to our thoughts, emotions, actions, and decisions. Sound judgment enables us to determine the right course of action and the proper way to respond to a situation.
Growing in self-control in our lives starts with recognizing areas in our life where we lack it, where we need to bring our lives more closely in alignment with God’s Word. The next step is to acknowledge our insufficiency to overcome our weakness and sin by our own efforts, and to seek the Lord in prayer, asking Him to change us. Then, we put feet to our prayers by practicing self-control—either by saying no to the things that we know we shouldn’t be doing or by saying yes to the things we know we should be doing. (For more on this topic, see More Like Jesus: Self-control.)
The biblical concept of self-control implies that as human beings we have desires that we should control instead of satisfy. Growing in the virtue of self-control means learning to control ourselves—our emotions, desires, and feelings—through the power of the Holy Spirit, as the following articles highlight.
The secret to building self-control is to yield our lives to God and let His Holy Spirit guide our thoughts, our actions, and our life. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world,” Paul advises, “but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”5
That doesn’t mean we won’t face temptation or continue to work to overcome bad habits and weak areas in our lives. We need to do our part, of course. We need to put up some resistance when temptation comes knocking, and we need to work on strengthening our weak areas. But the fact of the matter is, we all sometimes fall prey to temptation, give in to our personal weaknesses, or overindulge in some things that would be fine in moderation. The apostle Paul could have been speaking for us all when he wrote:
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?”6
But then Paul hit upon the answer: “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”7—Rafael Holding8
“Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline, in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last; but we do it for one that will last forever” (1 Corinthians 9:25 GNT). “No pain, no gain” is the way fitness trainers put it, and they are right. Peak performance requires self-discipline and self-control. Olympic athletes train for years to have a chance to win a brief moment of glory. But the race we are running is far more important than any earthly athletic event. So self-control is not optional for Christians…
Three times in 1 Peter, God reminds us to be clear-minded and self-controlled. Why? Because a clear mind has a lot to do with self-control. God gave us the power to change our habits when he gave us the power to choose our thoughts. Does Romans 12:2 tell us to be transformed by working hard or by sheer willpower? No. What are we to be transformed by? The renewing of the mind. When your self-control is being tested, you need to fill your mind with the promises of God…
The Bible says that God puts his Holy Spirit in us to give us power. All Christians have God’s Spirit in their lives, but not all Christians have God’s power in their lives. Jesus gives a beautiful illustration of this in John 15. He compares our spiritual life to a vine and its branches: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5 NKJV)…
The secret of depending on God’s Spirit is to be incessantly in prayer. Pray about your decisions. Pray about your needs. Pray about your interests. Pray about your schedule. Pray about problems you are facing. Pray about people you are going to meet. Pray about purchases. Pray about everything. That is what it means to “abide”—to be aware that God is always with you, to practice his presence. As you pray, you will start to see the fruit of the Spirit developing in your life.—Rick Warren9
Self-control helps us to resist temptation and avoid conforming to the things of this world. It guides our decisions, and it correlates with how we show the other fruits in our lives. For example, forbearance, or patience, requires self-control. Proverbs 14:29 says, “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” Our sinful nature leads us to give in to our temper, but we are called to rise above this and show patience. Self-control can be applied to all of the fruits of the Spirit in the same way it is applied to forbearance…
Jesus Christ gives us the perfect example of self-control, because He lived a sinless life and possessed every fruit of the Spirit. Jesus demonstrated self-control because He was sent to earth to carry out the Father’s will. He was to live a perfect life in order to set an example for us, and in the end, He died for our sins so that we may have eternal life.
In Matthew 26:53–54, Jesus says, “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and He will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”
Jesus knew what He was sent to Earth to do, and despite His own [trepidation], He demonstrated self-control in submitting to the Father’s perfect plan. Without the self-control of Jesus, we would face death as the punishment of our sin.
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” With the Holy Spirit inside of us, we are able to possess self-control and demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit. As a result, we can live in a way that is honorable to God.—Lauren Abraham10
Biblically, self-control, or lack thereof, goes to the deepest part of us: the heart. It begins with control of our emotions, and then includes our minds as well. Self-control is often paired with “sober-mindedness” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8; Titus 2:2; 1 Peter 4:7), and in several places the language of “self-control” applies especially to the mind…
We want to control ourselves in the power He supplies. We learn to say no, but we don’t just say no. We admit the inadequacy, and emptiness, of doing it on our own. We pray for Jesus’ help, secure accountability, and craft specific strategies. We trust God’s promises to supply the power for every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8; Philippians 4:19) and then act in faith that he will do it in and through us (Philippians 2:12–13)…
Ultimately, our controlling ourselves is about being controlled by Christ. When “the love of Christ controls us” (2 Corinthians 5:14), when we embrace the truth that he is our sovereign, we can bask in the freedom that we need not muster our own strength to exercise self-control, but we can find strength in the strength of another. In the person of Jesus, “the grace of God has appeared … training us”—not just “to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions,” but “to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age” (Titus 2:11–12). …
Because self-control is a gift, produced in and through us by God’s Spirit, Christians can and should be the people on the planet most hopeful about growing in self-control. We are, after all, brothers and sisters of the most self-controlled man in the history of the world.
All his life he was “without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth” (1 Peter 2:22). He stayed the course even when sweat came like drops of blood (Luke 22:44)… When reviled, he did not revile in return (1 Peter 2:23) … In every trial and temptation, “he learned obedience through what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8), and at the pinnacle of his self-control he was “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). And he is the one who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).
In Jesus, we have a source for true self-control far beyond that of our feeble selves.—David Mathis11
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Benjamin Carson is one of the world’s most renowned physicians. He was raised in a poverty-stricken neighborhood of Detroit by a divorced mother who had to hold down several jobs to make ends meet. Though she had only a third-grade education, she radically improved the flagging school performance of young Benjamin and his brother by forcing them to turn off the television and read books instead.
But though Carson’s academic work prospered, he faced another obstacle to success—a violent temper. By his own account, he often hit people with a bat or rock, including one incident that broke the glasses of a neighbor and almost destroyed an eye.
The climax came in ninth grade when Carson tried to stab a boy in the gut. Fortunately, the intended victim was wearing a large metal belt buckle that broke the blade. “I realized that a temper like that was going to land me in jail, reform school or the grave,” Carson recalled.
He “started praying and asking God to deliver [him] from this temper.” Then, seeking guidance amid youthful misery, he began reading from the Old Testament’s Book of Proverbs. This verse particularly hit home:
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (16:32).
After undergoing this spiritual crisis, Carson says he found himself able to control his temper. He graduated third in his class at Southwestern High and won a scholarship to Yale. No doubt self-control enabled him to become a healer and a star surgeon.—Richard Ostling12
There I was, scrolling Instagram mindlessly once again and getting sucked into the black hole of the pages of “influencers” advertising product after product, sale after sale, deal after deal. It was getting so out of hand that I was finding myself clicking “add to cart” and hiding the packages from my husband when the boxes showed up on our doorstep a few days later. I knew it was wrong, but it felt like the temptation was too strong to stop this familiar cycle of impulsive buying. But this was a lie. No temptation is too strong for us to overcome.
It is important to remember that we don’t base truth on our feelings. We must look to what God’s Word says to renew our minds with His truth and gain wisdom on making healthy and [godly] choices. When it comes to self-control and overcoming any temptation that we face, we can find truth in 1 Corinthians. The apostle Paul states:
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV)…
We may feel like the temptation is too much to bear, but God always provides us a way of escape; we must ask the Lord to give us wisdom and spiritual eyes to see the way out. For me, personally, the wisdom was to unfollow these influencers’ Instagram pages so that the temptation of what they were sharing was no longer before my eyes continually.
The Holy Spirit is faithful to continue to give us wisdom and guidance and strengthen us when we submit our ways to Him. He will convict our hearts, remind us of what the Bible says, and cultivate the fruit that we have received, especially the fruit of self-control. As believers, we have received the fruit of the Spirit, and just like fruit in the natural, it must be cultivated. The longer we walk with the Lord and study His Word, the more our fruit is developed and strengthened within us.—Emily Massey13
Dear Lord, as I face the day ahead, I invite You to guide my thoughts, words, and actions. Grant me the strength to embrace discipline, not as a burden, but as a path to freedom. Help me to find joy in the small acts of self-control and to remember that each choice I make is an opportunity to reflect Your love and grace.
In the hustle and bustle of today’s demands, be my steady calm. Teach me to prioritize not just the urgent but the important. Remind me that self-discipline is a form of worship, a way to honor You in every aspect of my life. Let Your Spirit guide me to choices that bring life, joy, and peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.—Laura Mendenhall14
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:11–13).
“True self-control is not about bringing our selves under our own control, but under the power of Christ.”—David Mathis
“Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love” (2 Peter 1:5–7).
“Self-control is the exercise of inner strength under the direction of sound judgment that enables us to do, think, and say the things that are pleasing to God.”—Jerry Bridges
(To be continued.)
Note
Unless otherwise indicated, all scriptures are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
1 1 Corinthians 9:24–27.
2 2 Timothy 3:1–4.
3 1 Thessalonians 5:6.
4 1 Peter 4:7.
5 Romans 12:2 NLT.
6 Romans 7:18–19, 21–24 NLT.
7 Romans 7:25 NLT.
8 “Developing Biblical Self-Control,” Anchor, June 2014.
9 Rick Warren, God’s Power to Change Your Life (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006).
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